it smells like $90 worth of clean in here.
the boyfriend
dinosaurs cause gravity.
the boyfriend

it’s like, if you’re a big baseball fan, the rules of the game are the same, and it’s the same people and the same plays, but it’s all in a different order. you never know what’s going to happen - sometimes it really sucks. and the fact that it can be really bad makes the good games even better. you’ll watch a blowout and it’s terrible, but the next game they’ll come back from eight runs down and it’s the best game ever. and then you get hooked into it because you want to go to every show you can, because the one you don’t go to is going to be the best show ever.

-rob mitchum @phishcrit

The things my friends know I know

What is that tv show about a dog? Like non cartoon dog? I know you know what I’m talking about.

  • me: can i have the leftover chicken for breakfast?
  • the boyfriend: you can. but why don't you have oatmeal?
  • Me: John Henson died!
  • Ileza: I wonder if the muppets will go to the funeral.
sexism is like my least favorite thing. besides salad bars. i also hate salad bars.
adam demamp
  • blake: i think i got an idea. y'know just because three dudes can't hit a woman, right, doesn't mean that a woman can't hit the woman that the three dudes wanna hit.
  • adam: what?
  • anders: lotta numbers.
  • adam: i stopped listening. i got really into chugging my beer.
  • blake: i just, i have a plan.

i AM the problem. i AM gentrification, y’know. in three generations, gentrification is gonna be a non-issue because statistically we’re headed toward an age where everybody is going to be, like, caramel and queer.

I’m not a rapist or a racist or a racist rapist. But I do think you are cute. Bum bum!
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret