• therapist: listen, sex seems very complicated and confusing, but it's very simple. the man takes his penis, puts it into a woman's vagina, he ejaculates, and she dies.
  • louie: she dies?
  • therapist: oh no, i was thinking of something else.

a full range of emotions.

I’m 106 pounds bigger than I was when I was born.
My mother, on her birthday.

of course…but maybe.

this year’s tribeca film festival films:

Adult World | narrative
Amy (Emma Roberts) is naïve, awkward and anxious to get her poetry career off of the ground. She begrudgingly accepts a job at the local sex shop, Adult World, while pursuing a surefire kick-start for her success: a mentorship with reclusive writer Rat Billings (the hilarious John Cusack). As Amy’s world melds with that of Adult World, she slowly learns that inspiration can be found in the most improbable places.

Big Shot | documentary
In 1996, John Spano, a previously unknown Dallas business mogul, bought the New York Islanders for a franchise-saving $165 million. The future looked bright for the once-legendary team. Then Spano took his seat in the front office. Entourage’s Kevin Connolly takes us behind the scenes of the biggest fraud in hockey history, as Spano’s wealth is revealed to be a lie and his rise to power a brilliantly concocted scheme.

Hide Your Smiling Faces | narrative
During a hot summer in rural America, brothers Tommy (Ryan Jones) and Eric (Nathan Varnson) are confronted with devastation as death forces its way into their young lives. This stunning debut feature explores the nature of the relationship between boys, as both violence and support is encapsulated in quiet storytelling and breathtaking photography. With incredibly sensitive performances by its two leads, Hide Your Smiling Faces packs a subtle but powerful punch. 

Big Men | documentary
For her latest industrial exposé, Rachel Boynton (Our Brand Is Crisis) gained unprecedented access to Africa’s oil companies. The result is a gripping account of the costly personal tolls levied when American corporate interests pursue oil in places like Ghana and the Niger River Delta. Executive produced by Steven Shainberg and Brad Pitt, Big Men investigates the caustic blend of ambition, corruption and greed that threatens to exacerbate Africa’s resource curse.

Cutie and the Boxer | documentary
Once a rising star in the ’70s New York art scene, eighty-year-old “boxing” painter Ushio Shinohara is prepping for his latest show, hoping to jumpstart his career. His wife and de facto assistant, Noriko, seeks her own recognition through her “Cutie” illustrations depicting their chaotic forty-year marriage. Zachary Heinzerling’s wonderfully candid debut captures two not-always-happy lives united by a dedication to art. It becomes a touching portrait on the eternal themes of love and sacrifice. 

Oxyana | documentary
Oceana, West Virginia—known as “Oxyana” after its residents’ epidemic abuse of OxyContin—is a tragically real example of the insidious spread of drug dependency throughout the country. Set against an abandoned coal mining landscape to the melodies of Deer Tick’s haunting score, this unflinchingly intimate documentary probes the lives of Oceana’s afflicted and exposes the day-to-day experience of a town living in the harsh grip of addiction. 

Lenny Cooke | documentary
In 2001, Lenny Cooke was the most hyped high school basketball player in the country, ranked above future greats LeBron James, Amar’e Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony. A decade later, Lenny has never played a minute in the NBA. In this quintessentially American documentary, filmmaking brothers Joshua and Benny Safdie track the unfulfilled destiny of a man for whom superstardom was only just out of reach.

secret smile

sometimes when the evening’s young
the wind dies down, the setting sun
crochets the clouds with yarn so fine
and fills the oceans with red wine

the trees, the sky, the forest fair
bring a flavor to the air
i raise my glass and in a while
you answer with a secret smile

an airborne leaf that landed near
has carried dionysus here
he’ll slip away but only when
he sees our glasses filled again

-phish

Sunday, May 26 at 12:01 a.m. PST

from vulture.com’s article, “Here are 5 Options for Consuming the New Season of Arrested Development”:

You throw a party and watch all of the new episodes with friends.

Drawbacks: What if your friends laugh too much and you miss some of the jokes? What if they laugh too little and you start to wonder whether your friends even get it, really? What if you’re about to move on to episode six and then Ashley is like, “Oh, we’re really going to watch all the episodes?” and then she laughs and someone else chuckles just to be polite, and it’s like, Ashley, that was EXPLAINED TO YOU on the E-VITE, but thanks for POISONING THE MOOD and making everyone question EVERYTHING. Go home. You were only invited because you’re dating Ben.

here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. and the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
george carlin